It's Sunday today, I don't feel too good and I'm having second thoughts about committing this to the internet, i hope in a few hours I'll feel distinctly better. So far, I'm here in Italy and so are Katie (teacher form last year) and Giovanni (of Angiulli fame) and my Italian teacher (Paola) and Luca (The Italian of Newquay fame). I went out for dinner with Luca last night- I had sushi for the first time (last time I only ate cooked stuff). It was good, the dinner and the company. Although my stomach is tender this morning, and not generally happy. Other than that it was lovely evening, except at the very end when i needed to establish how we were to be in Italia- Both London and Newquay were fantastic but holidays, small pockets of fantasy. Now we are in Italy and this is real life for both of us....
Unfortunately he can't be what I want him to be, and I can't be what he want's me to be and so abbiamo fatto. I know this is the safest decision for me, (If i don't look after me, who else will?) but that is my head talking, everything else however....
I'm sure i'll feel better tomorrow.

Sonambulo....

Steve went to V festival this weekend and arrived home late last night....the sounds of the front door dimly registered as I tried to stand up and hit my head on the ceiling, which in itself, was a shock. Then he turned on the light in the hall....I woke up standing on my bed with my duvet gathered up in my arms ( I was trying to move it out of the way of the pink and yellow striped rats that could jump.....no, really!)
Today is my last day in 27a, I do feel really sad today. The last solid thing (other than friendships) linking me to Stansted ends today, only my life in Italy remains.

Newquay...

So i've just arrived back from Newquay...i'm fair shattered! It was a really good holiday- a proper adventure- I had intended to to take 3 surf lessons but sadly my fear of water got the better of me. I was so scared! For the last week i kept thinking..'but on Thursday i have to surf..eeeeek' It was my challenge, no on emade me do it and i wasn't sure how i would feel it has been many years since i tried to conquer this and i've done so much scary stuff in the last year thought maybe my new found balls would carry me through. However, by the time we reached the beach i was shaking...the instructors were two brothers who were both very nice and understood as i explained why i was there. The first time i went under the water, the panic ran through me and i almost left there and then. I didn't though, i continued to try but the fear of going under was huge. I didn't stand up, which i would have liked to have done- if only for a few seconds!
The Italian surfed really well though- He didn't understand at first- i hadn't told him, something i had to do by myself, for myself. He understood when i explained and tried to gently convince me to go back for another try- he may have been right but on the first day, i didn't sleep or eat and i was so nervous my stomach was upset. I didn't want to spend the entire time worrying about the next morning- not really the point of a holiday! And also not really fair on him- being so nervous i was very distant after the first lesson. Maybe in the future I can try again....
We walked to Crantock beach which was beautiful- very few people were there and the waves were wild. It was a long walk but totally worth it. We found a local pub and sampled many ales.....The weather was minging! but it didn't detract from the holiday we had a lot of fun. I did some drawing while he surfed. and spent some time wandering along the beaches. I introduced him to cornish pasties and the concept of pie, we tried cornish ice cream and i explained the difference between jam and marmalade. the tiny things we take for granted are usually the things that foreigners overlook- are are astounded by (It's the same for me in Reggio)
Tonight i meet Bex, Al. Chris and Debs for a farewell drink before I go back to Italy for the next year, on Tuesday. This time I'll truly be saying goodbye to 27a and my old life.....and when i reach Bologna, I'll say goodbye to the Italian.....da sola ancora

27a

I'm sitting on Chris's sofa in the flat watching tv when I really should be tidying and cleaning. I go back to Reggio next after a summer of working at studio cambridge and seeing friends. It's been alot of fun- working at Hockerill summer camp again was fun- always tiring but easier this year having worked at the same place last summer and also with alot of the same people. It was good to see how my confidence has improved in teaching.
I spent a week playing tour guide in London with a friend who came over from Italy- thatw as alot of fun, i wanted to spend more time in London this time- always used to be intimidated by the big city, funny how things change! We saw 'We will rock you' the Queen musical which was fabulous! We walked in St James park, saw the sights and went back to the Cabinet war rooms.
I don't know what will happen next time i come back, the flat is up for rent and so i will have nowhere to hang my hat, but i have been ridiculously lucky to have the possibilty of coming back to the flat for the last year, the rest i'll figure out!
I went back up north for a week, saw my family and Lil'Sis although- she's not so little at the moment! She's 22 weeks gone and looks fabulous. I won't see her now until after William is born...:-(
It's been a great week, had a picnic with Sarah and spend some quality time with Steve, Bex, Christophe and Mike and Nik. I can't believe how big Harry is getting!, Cutest little ginger in the world, he was just starting to get over his shyness with me too. The saddest part of living abroad is the constant Goodbyes, and the easier they get, the sadder it becomes.
Next week I'm off the Newquay for a few days - with the Italian. I'm going to attempt to learn to surf! It's something i've wanted to do for a while but didn't know where to start and then figured when i came back for the summer i could give it a go- and Newquay is the only place to go! I haven't mentioned the water will be damn cold to him yet.....
I'm really looking forward to the new term and new adventures. I'm doing a language course before term starts to improve my confidence, which as i think i have said before, is my biggest problem..pian piano